I'm a Legend Tonight

BAD GIRL

2009-04-26T17:21:00.000-07:00

I walk a bad road
And it won't get clear soon
I don't want to go
But I know I will
She don't want to know
What it is that she wants
She want to take it slow
But she knows where shell end up
I won't wait another day
Because a day won't change a thing
I want you to be free
But I don't want to share
So I sing about the pain
And I walk around the street
Nothing is okay and the end won't be clean
Cause you've been a bad girl
And you don't want to stay
And you've been a bad girl
But baby that's okay
I don't want you no more
Not who ever you are
And I don't need you no more
That's why I got rid of my heart
And all this will end just like it began
Ill just swim away
Until I find land
Because in the end
Were just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year

Soon is good but sooner is great

2009-04-18T03:37:00.000-07:00

I have always been a man of many words
Some not so great but always there.
I have always been the type to speak my mind only because I feel I'm one of the few that has an original thought to offer. When I first said hello I was scared but not because your beauty is something to fear but because I knew you shared a mind as bold as my own. You have this way of seeing things its incredible the way I describe things to you and you simply understand there isn't a hesitation in you you say what you feel and you are never afraid that's something I admire. being scared is something I've never known but being missunderstood that's something the lord and I know all to well. Your spiritual your that gypsy woman you may never know this and you may never care but you've already done so much for me and don't take it as a bad thing just remember that the world isn't ready for our ideas or our thoughts which is why we keep them we're missunderstood and we both have roles in this play but don't you ever think the curtains are going to be pulled in the middle of the play for when they turn on the bright lights we will be waiting there maybe not in the same place maybe not at the same time I'd sure love to show you my mind So before I forget, see me......
soon is good but sooner is great

I own the night

2009-04-10T01:28:00.000-07:00

I own the moon that shines
Brighter than anything else
I own the boulevard
The only boulevard that knows of shattered dreams
Where millions have walked but few have bled
I am one of them
The only one
This boulevard knows me more than I know myself
These strange people
They make funny faces but its not them that I fear
They will walk my boulevard
But it won't ever be theirs
This street is home to only me
It will take the worlds end to get me out of my home
And even then ill still be here
In this boulevard
It isn't love street its something bigger
Many have tried but none will be able too
Because this boulevard has given me the most important part of life
Her heart so
If you ever want to question something don't question my boulevard
I am the HEART of hollywood
And I own the night
So don't you ever step foot in my street or walk on my boulevard
Because I will personally make sure you never walk again
It isn't a threat its a promise
Just know that I own the night
And that's my moon not yours

the tears in heaven

2009-04-06T01:07:00.000-07:00

As I walk down an empty street my mind full of thoughts I can't talk about for this world is not ready
my mind altering state is not caused by any substance other than the power to dream
Now all I can do is walk with this blood on my hands for it signals what the world will see, me as an individual with a story
Unlike everyone else who walks with an empty stare and an empty soul
I walk always guarded by my instincts and this heart that I hold so dear
The moon is always there
While your walking it follows in a hypnotic way
it slowly moves and
As I close my eyes I open my soul
And when I stare at the moon with my soul I see you
Staring back at me
Wondering if maybe your really staring back
And
I have this blood on my hands
The world is scared and so are people scared of someone with no fear
I can't fear because I've got a beautiful heart and I'm able to close my eyes even if its only for a second I can dream
And when I heard the sound of silence and saw the panic in their eyes I knew
Just like I've always known
That this isn't just a stain
This isn't just a sound made by a weapon
This isn't just a simple goodbye
This isn't just a wondering eye
This is something that almost ended my life
But with this I still walk amoung the mindless people who may be full of knowledge but wont ever be able to dream
The cementary is full of brave men
And I guess maybe I need to start taking my road there
But I don't fear the reaper
I don't fear the world
I know the world isn't ready for my point of view
Not many are
So as were just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year
Ill walk with this blood on my hands
For the only thing in danger tonight is the world for I'm still here and I'm still standing amoung you lord waiting for the answer so for the
Few amoung the dead walking through the widows eyes I am not scare because I can dream even with this blood on my hands
And this heart full of hope
I'm sure there are still tears in heaven

luna

2009-04-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

Esta noche llo espero a la luna
Bella como siempre llena de amor
Tonight I wait for the moon
beautiful tonight
Full of love
When I look I feel like you're staring back at me

bed of roses

2009-03-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

its been a long hiatus
its been way to many years having fun
while i've been away i've written quite a few songs
i've realized a lot of things about life in general
and its tough
its about confessing how i really feel
i don't really understand many things in this life
but one of them i can surely say is you
dont stop the world with what you cant understand
dont try to stand alone because we both know you can
its was never about trying to find yourself
its always been about trying to forget me
im sitting here
wasting away
trying hard
not to remember
this morning i don't know
and i dream again but its not the same
with my hands open
i remember our french kiss good morning
i remember the music id hear
While we're talking
About all of the things that I long to believe
all those things i long to believe about love
the truth
you hid from me the truth
baby
i want to lay down in a bed of roses
tonight i sleep on a bed of pain
i wanna lay you down on a bed of roses
i'm so far away
Well I'm so far away the steps that I take on my way home
id give each night to see you preform again
i run out of time and its hard to get through to a girl on the run
i just close my eyes
and i dream like you do but somehow when were not together its just not the same
so come dream away i know that's
cause baby our love its true
and i want to lay down on a bed of roses
i want to lay you down
on a bed of roses
while people stand in the way
while people try to win
i just laugh real hard because they don't have something i got
and that's your heart
now you close your eyes
know i've been thinking about you
standing in that spot light again
i wont be alone and i know that don't mean i'm not lonely
ive got nothing to prove because its you that id die to defend
tonight i sleep with your heart at hand
i want to be just as close
the world it sleeps
I wanna be just as close as your Holy Ghost is
And lay you down
i want to lay you down on a bed of roses
so come on and travel with me
i want to lay you down on a bed of roses
so come lay with me

pull it out of the stone

2009-03-27T02:44:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting to think of something to write.
I'm looking at this ring wondering what it means now
I can't seem to get it off my middle finger.
I had a whole speech about this ring
I was proud to wear this ring what it represented what it made me think about or who actually. It almost makes me wonder at times if it will ever just come off on its own
I've given up on trying to take it off
I've tried it all
Soap, oil, I've even contemplated cutting of my finger I won't get that extreme I mean the ring itself isn't that bad a silver color or maybe white gold. Its suits me in a way no other ring ever has it fits perfectly in my finger too perfectly at times.... someone made a comparison not to long ago about me and this ring I told them the problem how it wouldn't come off and they said "maybe its like the king arther story" where everyone tries to pull the sword off the stone but only the little boy is able too. It made me think and I asked her to take the ring off my finger it wouldn't budge then I asked many people to try and it also wouldn't budge today I tried again to take it off it sled a little at first I thought it was finally coming off but then just like that it was stuck I don't know who will pull this ring off my finger or if its even suppose to come off but for now ill just keep wearing the ring as if I had a choice don't get me wrong I'm inlove with the ring but and yea there's a but
Actually there is no butt
I guess the ring is here to stay so when you see me walking slowly down the street since I've been walking slower as of late take a second look at my hand the ring I carry still proud still holding true to the promise I made

help me close my eyes

2009-03-24T01:10:00.000-07:00

I opened my eyes
I can't close them anymore
To be able to close my eyes again
Would be the only thing I ask
Not because I now see the world
In a way I don't pray anyone will ever see it
The world isn't ready for my words
The world isn't ready for my ideas
The world isn't ready for my perception
Please
Lord
let me close my eyes again
I don't want to keep them closed
I just want to be able to dream again
With my eyes closed if only for a couple
Of seconds at a days end
I want to close my eyes as the sun sets
Just so I can open my eyes as the moon rises
I want to dream for more than a second at a time but if I only get a second I won't take it for granted I never did
Lord
I'm no longer lost
I've had an angel save me
She took my hand and the song remained the same
Just lord
Don't let me fall
Don't let me fall
Please don't let me fall
South of heaven

hear i am lord, a LEGEND TONIGHT

2009-03-20T18:13:00.001-07:00

its sometimes funny
when i think about the music over the years
all everyone has done is repeat or steal the originality of few
the immortals never stole they never lied they never cared for being praised
you see the immortals don't care for the approval of anyone
fuck to tell you the truth the immortals don't give a fuck not anymore
you can pretend to be one of us
you can pretend not to care
but all your doing is making yourself look bad
at least to us the immortals
we don't try
we don't need to post anything new
we don't need to keep the world updated
all we need is a place to tell our story
that's what i've chosen to do
you see 'ive got to hand it to me

looks like its me and you again tonight

here i am lord
here i am standing on my own two feet
the man i've always been
the man with strength
and the man with heart
the man that has never given up
the man that isn't perfect
but is honest
you know lord
i heard sometime ago
that people try to run from men like me
they run to the dishonest
because at least the dishonest will always be dishonest
its the honest ones you have to watch out for
its funny now that i think about it
all i've done has made me the man i am today
an equal part of a society that isn't perfect but is good enough for me to enjoy the splendors of life
i'm not in a bubble
i dont need to run around and pretend to be
something because ive always been me
and that isnt going to change
love is something that i treasure
love is something that i feel
love is something that i welcome
but not something i give often
or at all
i wont be pushed away from this not anymore
because today as sun sets and the moon rises
i walk
i walk into the fight of my life
but i dont walk scared
i dont walk with uncertainty
ive already won this fight
my hands they tell a story
they are the ones that hold you dear
they flow threw your body
almost perfectly in form
there the only ones that can hold you the way youve wanted to
they sway with your body in a motion that only gods can know off
they touch you everywhere and you love it
they're soft and there powerful
their strength keeps you safe
and the feel keeps you soft
they fit perfectly
unlike any other
just like in a cold night when the draft
fills you with shivers
youll turn to the right of your bed
looking for these hands these arms you call home
this heart you call yours
this love you walk all over
you push it away but you dont forget it
you cant its the real deal
just when you think its fading
just when you think its gone
i whisper in your ear
its a secret
only you can know about
my weapon is the instrument of love
my enemy is nothing but a waste of space
my love it consumes me
my anger never shown
for a man a well respected man is what ive always been known
to be
i hold my head up high
not because im any better
but because i know im right
i never lied even though i could have
i never cheated even though i could have
and i never ever ever questioned my love
because somethings you just know
and somethings your scared of
im not scared of anything

because im a LEGEND TONIGHT

paragraph 7 1997 prt 2/ I'm a dreamer

2009-03-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

The second part of this year is the part I hate the most
Its the part that won't ever ever make me feel like I can trust anything or anyone anymore. I don't take kindly to people that hurt me especially if they do it twice
You know
They say becareful with who you trust
I made that mistake once but not anymore.
It was the first time I felt defeated
I was 7 years old and in trouble not with my parents but in school. I wasn't the trouble maker at school but for that day I was the most wanted child on campus not the best thing if your 7.
I had gotten in my first fight his name was manuel abad I had to take him down he was bigger than me
But not stronger. I remember closing my eyes for 2 seconds and when I opened my eyes again he was on the floor crying I didn't do anything I just walked away. The next thing I remember is being in the office
The principle asked me why I did it
I lied and said I saw it on tv
It wasn't true but that's probably what she wanted to hear it would make her job even easier
She said to me "what number do I call to reach your parents" I didn't know and she believed me sometimes she looked at me as though she felt sorry for me
I don't like peoples pitty.
After my moms meeting with the principle she said "your grandmother is picking you up goodbye"
I hated that word goodbye
I remember saying that there would be no more goodbyes
But I found out today that its what peter pan who said you don't say goodbye because goodbye leads to growing up and when you grow up you stop being a child
I'm glad you taught me how to smile
I'm glad you opened my eyes
I was in a bubble of my own
I was in a bubble of hate and anger
But all that is gone now
I don't hate someone because they aren't worth my feeling
I don't have any anger because when I feel I might Ill think of you
You taught me how to speak little mime
Its funny at times to think about how close minded I had been even if I'm just a child I'm a child with dreams and not everyone can dream
I'm going to learn how to ride a bike its going to be a blue bike because blue is the color of a dreamer and I'm a dreamer

goodmorning yellow sweater

2009-03-16T08:18:00.001-07:00

Goodmorning sunshine
As I wake up in this beautiful day
Its beautiful to see her in the yellow sweater still asleep I kiss her check and I say goodmorning beautiful
She says to me as she opens her eyes how she was just dreaming about how badly she wanted to wake up to kiss my lips once more
She plays with my hair as our lips meet again
There's all sorts of things going in the room around us but its not strange not at all
Its a beautiful feeling knowing the world is turning but not caring because your to busy in the place where you should be
The place where she should be
The place she calls home
The place she feels like not even if the world tried to eat her alive it would be able too because I would be right there to protect her
That place being my arms
As she wakes up she sees I'm not holding her and she says to me "I'm cold"
And I just look at her as I stop the world
And say to her
You don't have to dream anymore because There's nothing you and I won't do

paragraph 6 /1997 the year was heaven

2009-03-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

The doubt that I saw in his face was unlike any I'd seen before. He was angry that night I could tell as I heard him yelling 2 rooms away. I don't remember being scared but mad at him for the things he had said moments before, I remember hating him more and more as I thought about what he said to me what he asked what he shouted. I was seven years old the first day I was able to stay at my parents house for the first time in almost 2 years. It was a beautiful place it was the perfect size for a family of 3 except there were four of us when counting me. I didn't know them I didn't understand there habbits and I didn't want to understand them. I guess I've always been that way
Maybe its a bad thing maybe its just a natural thing with me I can recall other times I've felt this way in my life time. I walked to a room they said was mine but I had never been there before it was decorated for someone that was 5 and still a boy I was 7 and becoming a man I stood on my own two feet and for two years had survived without them why would they care for me now why would they pretend to love me when I could tell they were distant all they did was pretend. I remember when I walked into my sister room her room was a typical girls room full of stuffed animals and such I didn't understand why it was she could be with them and not me I guess I actually did understand the only thing that made me upset was that they didn't know me not anymore. When my mom said hello to me I could hear the hesitation in her words she asked me if I wanted something to drink I asked for a soda she gave me orange juice, since that day I've hated orange juice. My dad wasn't home at the time but there was one thing in my room that caught my eye it was a blue bicycle I got excited and felt maybe when he got home he would finish teaching me I got so excited that I started blasting the ramones for about 4 minuteds before my mom told me to turn the music off I asked why not to be rude but because she never had a problem with me listening to music before but then again that was before she got sick. Sometimes I've felt that maybe they just didn't like me or that most of there problems were because of me maybe my dad didn't want o be there maybe my mom felt sorry for herself ever night before she would go to sleep she would look in the mirror and stare back at me and smile I was waiting for her to smile that afternoon and she didn't. She didn't really have many emotions it was around 7 pm that night and my dad was getting home from work, I waited in the front of the steps to ask him if he could teach me how to ride a bike he said "maybe tmrw we have all the time in the world you know" I didn't believe him when he said that I felt that he was lieing and I was right. I've learned that I can only trust few people in this world and it almost makes me sad that my own father isn't one of them. That night I was watching toy story room in my room when I heard a noise it was coming from the kitchen my mom and dad were yelling really load as I walked closer to them I could hear there voices screeching like a magnificent crow lerking its pray I wanted to stop myself from going into the room
Something told me something was wrong
I had that feeling for the first time that night they had been fighting for some obscene reason and I didn't understand them I didn't know them so I decided to ask what was wrong my dad looked at me and said "I bet he's part of the lie to he probably isn't even mine" I looked at him right in the eye as he said that to me all the attention I wanted from them for so long I finally had it my center spotlight you could say but for all the wrong reasons they didn't want me with them they had lied to me and it wasn't what he said that made me so mad it was the fact that they lied about wanting me. My grandmother told me that day in the morning before I left her house she said everything was going to be okay she said I could trust her but then at that point when I was standing there in the kitchen not knowing what to think all my brain would replay was that my grandmother had let me down she asked me to trust her and I did and it was all a lie. I felt like nobody wanted me arround it made me so mad that my dad would question if I was his I didn't hate him for it but I wouldn't allow him to insult my mother in that way I lost all respect for him that night he said some of the most hateful words but that's not what made me upset come to think of it I don't know that I'm upset with him I didn't know him and maybe it was the fact that I hadn't been with them in so long they forgot who I was or why I was there. I remember his eyes after he said what he had said he was teary eyed ashamed he knew what he had done was wrong he hate hurt a person he claimed to have loved at least once before in his life I feel indifferent towards him now I remember that days after I tried to have a conversation with him I asked him why he thought I wasn't his son all he would do is change the subject he was scared because he knew he was wrong deep down inside he had made a terrible choice in saying what he said I knew he wanted to take it back I knew he wanted to ask me for forgiveness at first I was mad but now I'm just dissapointed because he lost my trust in him that day and he won't ever fully have it back. I could never trust a liar and I won't ever have too I choice to surround myself with people who are geniune. I've always been able to spot a liar well all except for one, the one person who's Disappointed me the most in this world. In the end it was only the beginning of 1997 and as I walked away from the kitchen that night I decided I didn't want to be where I was. The next morning I went back to my grandmas house and when i got there she said she was sorry she didn't want to hurt me she just wanted me to see if I could be with the people she thought would be better for me
All I said to her that morning and that entire day was that I was sorry for being a burden but that I wouldn't apologize for being who I was. She smiled at me and said "it'll take time but trust me hebert they'll realize that nobody could ever fill the void you leave behind, you aren't like most people, the truth is that no one will ever love more than you and one day someone will make you smile and that happiness you bring to me is what you'll bring to that person. You know out of all my children, grandchildren and out of all the people I met in my entire life ..well honey your the one I think about the most your my favorite person your kind of wonderful that's what you are" for the most part my grandmother was probably speaking from the bottom of her heart I now know the last line is from a song but nevertheless she was probably right about most things she's one of those people that usually is.......

I want to dance with you if you'd like me 2

2009-03-11T22:31:00.000-07:00

I've had 3 hours of sleep.
But the 21+ hours I've been awake have been real nice to say the least.
The sirens of the city ring but I'm not listening I'm to busy dreaming of that hill she talks about.
The sound it rings once and twice
But the dream is strong and will move along
The sound of silence has been removed
And all you hear are the lonely blues
For music is one of the few things I know to love
And I remember once an angel said to me
That I had the most passionate hands that have been seen. My hands fit so perectly with those of angels and no matter what my fit won't change.
Walked her to the station
Kissed her in a dream.
Remind her that she's missed
And paint a picture of the hill that beautiful hill
Teach me how to ride a bike I really want to learn. I don't want to sound selfish or like its about me but all ill ever ask is for you to keep the promise you made for me.
If you want to find me ill be having a beautiful adventure so close your eyes and dream of me I'm right here with you no matter what
So
Catch my kiss <3
And remember that I want to dance with you if you want me too oh oh oh only with you mhm

paragraph 5 /back in 96'

2009-03-09T23:40:00.000-07:00

1996.
The summer in the city is like no other in a city with no hope like the one im in. It had been a year since I first felt my mothers cold shoulder and my fathers last words. I was still with my grandmother and she still talked about love almost everyday sometimes we'd listen to music together
She called me her "special dancing man" because I would be her dance partner she was a very gracefull woman with a heart of gold and a smile that made vegas light fall in shame. My summer days in 96' were happy ones to say the least. I met a great group of friends that year. They were all characters I was the misfit like in most childhood movies, nelson was the chubby "strong" guy that had all the jokes and the person who expanded my vocabulary in a not so possitive way, carlos was always willing to fight the biggiest meanest people because he was so small and determained to prove people wrong, frank was one of carlos's brothers, he was calm and I guess if there was a brain in the group It would most likely be him, jr. Was the worst he would always try to bring everyone down and he was annoying and somewhat of a trouble maker, and juan I guess he was the leader he was older than most of us and he taught me the ropes showed me how to light a fire cracker and how jump a 10 foot fence which I always thought would be impossible. We didn't have a diamond field of dreams all we had was a parking lot and a church that to this day I cross paths with at least once in a while. These are the kind of people worth mentioning in a life time of passing faces these are the ones that stay with me timeless just the actions that change us. The summer is something I can't really explain in detail because its the fall that really want to talk about. I was starting the second grade somewhat nervous because I didn't have any of my friends in my class and the teacher was late. I remember sitting front and center because I've always had this possitive attitude when starting a new adventure and the second grade was going to be a great adventure for me I felt it in my heart. Then she walked in with her beautiful black hair I know I didn't want characters in this writing but she couldn't be anything but a character she was strong and confident but shy at the same time her name was Ms. Garvey. She was my first real crush its funny actually she was the person that got me into nirvana I would listen to nirvana and joy division with her as we had lunch together she would invite me to have lunch with her because she said she enjoyed my company she liked that I was different and knew a little bit about the stoogies and the dolls and she said it was a good thing that I'd rather listen to pink floyd videos than watch saturday morning cartoons. I still remember the day I told her I liked her
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and said when your older there will be a lucky girl walking down the street with you and ill walk passed you and ill tell her that you liked me first she said I was worth so much more than any ordinary person because ordinary people are boring and extrordinary people dress up like mimes and make me smile and fall hard but in a good way. Maybe 1996 wasn't as hard of a year to write about as I thought it would be you know I mentioned wanting to write about the fall soo much but now I just want to write about her because still today I feel that sometimes the world isn't ready for my point of view
But you might be<3
Just let me know what you would do if I sang out of tone
And I promise you I will but even if its the worst voice you've ever heard its one of truth and joy.
Many things happen in a day sometimes you enjoy a conversation with a beautiful person that you've made smile at least for a second and you feel infinite again you feel as if the world has meaning. It seems I had this feeling just a couple of seconds ago thank you baby for making me smile at least for second I feel warm again.

Don't be a stranger to the world for the world can be nice but the lies the world surrounds itself with are not healthy and 1996 is a year of joy
In the words of someone who's in a little box next to my heart sometimes being speechless is a form of love
Sometimes meaning now
So smile for the moon is still here tonight
And so are the two little mimes

you don't have a smile anymore

2009-03-06T00:04:00.000-08:00

And your eyes they're so sad and even if everyone sees beauty I see the truth
You can't have the rock without the roll

paragraph 4

2009-02-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I thank god for 1995.
It was my first year of "big boy school" but it was also the year my sister was born. My sisters name isn't important its the actions that came with her birth that changed my life. My mother was happy through-out her pregnancy she would take me on walks with her as she didn't want me to feel as though the love she had for me would leave when my sister was born. She told me how I would be a big brother and as a brother I would have to help with more things around the house. Even my father became more caring it was an awkward yet kind of soothing feeling getting love from both of my parents. A couple of weeks before my sister was born my mom decided that I should get one last gift as an only child before she bought me the gift she said that somethings would change and in the long run everything would be okay I didn't know why she said that at first my mind could barely wrap the thought of me getting a bicycle. It was the cool thing to have at the time well at least for me. My mom made my dad promise me he would learn how to ride my new bicycle the first day my dad was showing me how to ride a bicycle my mother went into labor my dad left me in my grandmothers house while he went to the hospital with my mom. The days went by until I finally got to see my sister she was a beautiful baby just like the ones you see in commercials. When I walked to my moms hospital bed she didn't look at me I asked her how she was doing and she wouldn't respond I felt as if my mom was mad at me. I asked my dad but he didn't really say much all he muttered was"she's gonna be okay". He couldn't even look at her when he said it. He gave her this glare of hate I remember the look becuase its the same look he gave me everytime he was upset with me. The weeks went by and I was still at my grandmothers house I asked my dad when I could go back home and he said "not for a while" I asked him how my baby sister was and how my mom was, he just said "there fine quit asking so many questions" so I asked him when we could to the park so he could teach me how to ride a bicycle.... he simply said to me "never" I began to cry and my grandmother asked him to leave. I didn't know what was going on I didn't know why my parents were acting so weird I didn't know why my grandmother watched so many hours of television I didn't know anything in life and I simply began to cry I didn't stop for a couple of hours. Finally my grandmother came into my room and said to me that my mother and father loved me she said to me how I wasn't going to see my family for a little while she said that as long as you know that they love you everything will be okay. I didn't though I should have told my grandma then and there that I didn't know that my parents loved me I didn't know what to do all I knew as that I wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle and I didn't see why that wasn't going to happen. Suddenly I felt the arms of my grandmother holding me close she said to me that love was something that never went away she said people go through many things in life and one of them was love I asked her what she meant and she told me "when your older you will find a girl who you will love and you will marry her" I said " how will I know she's the one?"
She said to me "you only have one heart you can only give your heart to one person in your life time you can't ask for it back all you can do is hope that the person takes care of it" I said "how will I know who the person is" and she said "that everyone has a partner in life, a soulmate, when god made you he also made a special girl so you could share everything with." She said that I would know when I found her because my heart would tell me and whenever things got hard I would ask my heart and it would guide me threw life.
All I could think about at the time was that she said I have to share everything with this person.
I said " even my bicycle " she said "yes" I thought about it for a while how was I suppose to share my bicycle when I didn't know how to ride it. I felt as if maybe me not knowing how to ride it would stop me from ever finding that special person. To this day I don't know how to ride a bicycle I found the person my grandmother talked to me about when I was a little boy and it happened just as she said I've given my heart my corazon to someone already I can't ask for it back because it doesn't belong to me anymore I wish my grandmother wouldve told me how much it hurts when you fall inlove but I do remember she said that when your heart tells you its the right person you should never doubt it just trust your heart and everything will be okay and that's what life comes down too in the end of the day the sunsets the clouds vanishes the sky gets dark but your world remains the same you still have love, love is never lost but the world tends to try to make things hard for love but don't give up on love don't be afraid to give your heart away and overall don't ask for it back because you only have one heart
And once upon a life time love exists and that love won't ever end trust the one person you gave your heart too because that person trusted you with there heart and you know that your taking care of it everyday simply thank god because even though right no at this very moment you feel the love is gone it isn't so smile because your heart is okay in this chest of mine and once you decide to come home so will you.....

paragraph 3/ como te extrano

2009-02-17T09:46:00.000-08:00

You know most of my childhood I felt as if my parents didn't love me it seemed almost as if they hated me. My father hasn't been the most loving man hell the only time I ever spend with him as a child was when we would fight. As a child I had an atitude problem because of this most people would say I was the annoying little kid that was cute but such a trouble maker that I wouldn't get invited to birthday parties. My mother cared for me but there was always a distance between us the more I would try to be happy I just couldn't. The year was 1995 I remember it being a hard year for me I started elementry school and I felt like I was finally getting the attention from my parents I wanted. They would ask me how my day was hell one time my dad actually dropped me off at school that made me feel special and kinda made my day. When I first started school my teachers name was mr. Taber he was an older man in his late 50s with a balding scalp and a lathargic look to him he would always call me "abear" instead of "HEBERT" I never got it but then again I never really get anything. For as I sit here in the residence hotel and I think about how I just lost the love I hold dearest to my heart I can't help but start writing about how that love came to be and how much it hurts me although it seems everyone knew except for me many people tell me to stay strong but I can't help but feel like that weak little kid who had dreams of growing up to become someone famous a singer a roller a rocker but I stroll the streets of hollywood alone again alone for shame is how the streets tell many stories and now one of my own I can't help but be angry at this place called hollywood I can't help but be angry at the memories I have of that place for that place can only bring me memories of the past and the person I love so dearly but what am I suppose to do when you give someone your heart you don't ask for it back you stand tall and you think about the great memories you've had with the person for thou today they made you sad you have to remember the great times you've had together how much you learned from each other and how much you've impacted there lifes the little things that just stick to people are the real memories you have. I've always been a person who has great memory which is maybe why it hurts me the most I keep replaying the moment in my head where you can pinpoint your heart breaking in two you have to stay strong for both you and the other person because the person can be going through things that you just might not ever understand and the person might be going through things that they might not want you to know about because trust must be the key to any good time and I guess through it all I trust her I trust her so much that I trust that her breaking my heart is a good thing if it helps her figure out a part of life than she can break my heart a thousand times for it isn't my heart anymore it hasn't been my heart since the first time I saw her and it won't ever be my heart again for you can only mend your heart once in a life time and when you do its for ever and though people now-a-days don't respect each other I have so much respect for you because I am a real man and a real man has to learn not to ever talk about the woman he is inlove with no matter how much it hurts him on the inside but for that I can thank her because I now know that I've experienced love the most beautiful thing in the world who knows maybe I won't ever have love again but I had it once upon a time and I think its fair to thank her for the memories the love and the rock and roll. I am inlove with a girl I've fallen inlove and most completely she's inlove with the world sometimes she goes away she's really missleading she says to me are you alright how can I be alright if my heart still bleeding she don't know but then again she always knew that no matter what she does my heart is for her completely now.
Before I end the post I want people to know that if they have someone to love consider yourselfs lucky because love REAL love only comes around once and its okay to dream of being together forever because if you do it might come true
I still dream of it coming true one day with the same girl who has my heart because even though the world has had its evil way I want her to know that the world can't take on us together and that I got this
I got this....

the second paragraph

2009-02-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

In 1994 i began to see the world in color. I remember always having a positive outlook on things maybe because i didn't understand most things going on in my surroundings.
I wont ever claim to be one of the kids who was a know it all at a very young age, in fact i knew only few things at the time my world consisted of going to school, listening to music with my mom, and pretending to be a power ranger.
i have always felt that music was a huge part of my up bringing my mother was a drummer in her high school marching band and would always walk with great rhythm in her step she was also a great dancer.
My father was and continues to be a quite individual I never fully understood why my mother was with a man who always seemed so cold.
He did however have moments that almost made him seem human.
i remember a day when me and my mother went out to get some things from the grocery store, we were coming back home from the grocery store and as we walked in the door i heard music coming from my parents room i ran as fast as i could to the room and when i walked in i saw my father on top of a couch jamming out with some heavy air guitar type movements i couldn't help but laugh and him for he reminded me of the very person he would make fun off every morning BARNEY the purple television dinosaur.
Before i even had a chance to ask him what he was doing my mom shouted"what the hell are you doing" he has always feared my moms tone of voice when it became loud he gave her a strange look and simply said 'listening to SCORPIONS " my mom just laughed at him as she walked away and muttered "SCORPIONS why not Judas Priest" my dad had always claimed to hate Scorpions but it was the LOVE DRIVE album and if you've heard the album you'd understand why he loved it so. Before that day i never really saw my dad as a person that was any fun at all but come to think about it when i walked in that room i didn't see my dad i saw a kid trapped in a commitment that i cant help but feel responsible for.

the first paragraph

2009-02-09T20:28:00.001-08:00

i know I'm not the same person i tried to be when i first wanted to write a novel
i remember wanting to start off my novel with a description of a so-called character
i wanted to go the whole nine yards with the description
beginning with the facial features that made the character interesting
the whole "he had dark hair and a slight limp to his walk only a man with a history for violence would have" but after a while i decided that if i wrote about a character with flaws many would relate to him or her for the wrong reason
i guess you have to first choose the right reason to write a story before you begin to take notes.

i guess like many i would be writing about my life and how
it consists of some struggles and some great moments but its all the same the way we live in the world
seems to leave less and less room for originality
I'm currently having a flash back to what i think is my first memory
i cant be certain of it being my first memory because its on video tape so maybe its only the first memory i have footage or prove of ever being real. don't worry i wont try to get philosophical in my story even if it might seem that way sometimes i simply cant stand people that read a certain piece of work by a man who is claimed to be insane by the few that don't understand him and will dictate this in a conversation to try to create stature among simple humans who are amazed by assholes who steal personality from those who try teach that following will never lead you anywhere. In any case we are all victims of thinking and now to re frame back to my previous topic, I was 3 years old in the early 90's with my shoulder length hair i had no idea what right or wrong were at that time and to this day sometimes i feel i still haven't learned it was my birthday party and like every child i cried when held by unfamiliar faces my first memory is of me riding a swing with two little girls with floral dresses in the middle of a hall my father a man in his early twenty's at the time was about to pull me away when i struck him with a broom i picked up somewhere in the 2 minutes the camera wasn't on me. that is my first memory September 21st 1993 who am i? HEBERT

Ce Jeu

2009-02-06T01:25:00.000-08:00

hebert and rachel<3
hipster paradise

i remember the days when happiness was a dollar away

2009-01-24T01:09:00.000-08:00

why have you turned your back on us INVISIBLE HAND

the change is good but the bush will be missed

2009-01-22T11:57:00.000-08:00

i love the fact that we elected new blood to try to save our capitalist society
but looking back at the years and the great moments we shared with one G.W.BUSH
I Will miss our previous commander in chief and all the great and sometimes awkward moments he shared with us in his 8 years in office to me and to the rest of the world he will be remembered as good old number 43

GYPSY WOMAN

2008-12-15T22:03:00.000-08:00

were lost
were hypnotized with love
were waiting for the spanish caravan
we almost lost our souls to a guitar melody
from a fire she came to be
oh how she enchanted me
and the kiss
and forever i love you gypsy woman
oh how she danced
waiting for the rising sun
everyone was having fun
no no you wont ever know
that gypsy woman shes strange in that mystic way
she tries, tries to take my breathe away
but instead she dances around
we saw the caravan it finally came
but in the desert we remained
we had a vision
a vision
in our brain and it remained
we had the dreams we walked around as if we were hypnotized
the difference was that we were no longer lost
our eyes they stood and touched and saw
oh that gypsy woman

WE AS RACHEL AND HEBERT

2008-12-11T21:53:00.000-08:00

its winter now
its been a year since i first saw the snow
but with it we have grown and the love it still blooms
as strong as can be
without the world
without the sounds
we are still the same
entwined in a love that will never grow old
that wont see any limits
that wont fail to grow
We AS HUMANS HAVE AN ABILITY TO LOVE
WE AS LOVERS HAVE AN ABILITY TO FEEL
WE AS PARTNERS HAVE AN ABILITY TO SHARE
AND WITH THIS I PROMISE I WILL BE THERE

the street are made of stone as we walk

2008-11-10T11:28:00.001-08:00

people writing songs that voices never shared
don't ever disturb the sound of silence
hear my words
take my arms that I might reach you
but our worth like silence is golden
don't forget to echo the winds of silence
for today we awake and the words are forming
and the sign said the words of the profets are written on the silent walls
look at the night and just smile because everything will be aright
listen to the words
the writting heaven has a place for us today
so let us keep this thought that drives us wild
tonight were gonna make it all come true
we won't ever have to hide it anymore
our words are golden and can break the silence of thought

hard luck woman

2008-11-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

Rags, the sailors only daughter
A child of the water
Too proud to be a queen

Our country is ready for CHANGE

2008-11-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

this is the world we want as a youth, one nation indivisible under GOD
today we as a country have made history because we helped CHANGE the world and for all of those who voted as an individual i thank you and as a democrat WE THANK YOU
MR. PRESIDENT

ELECTION DAY

2008-11-04T00:11:00.001-08:00

finally after 8 years of republican politics
we have the opportunity to make a difference
i for one am happy to consider myself a democrat.
we as individuals have the chance to change the world
and i for one will take full advantage of that and in a couple of hours will be voting
for the first time.
so whatever you do dont forget to vote today
and dont forget that WE DONT WANT 4 MORE YEARS OF THE SAME THING

VOTE OBAMA 08 make a difference and remember rain or sunshine EVERY vote counts

the status quo

2008-10-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

walking into a place where there is nothing but strangers
they all look the same not by what they wear or how they style there hair
but on there ideas they dont break out of the ordinary its almost sad
but the think that is important for you to know is that you are responsible for all of your actions except for being born.

pennylane records

2008-10-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

waking up to a phone call was the start of a beautiful day<3
i saw the sun rise for the first time in a little while

today was my business mid-term
i woke up at 4 30 am so i could study,
made my way to the library and studied right next to pennylane records
by 11:50 am i was ready to take the exam
I think the extra 10 hours of studying really helped me out.
afterward i headed to the hospital
to see a new born baby (my moms friends')
finally got home around 3 talk to my little baby for a while and fell asleep
its been a long day and im currently studying for my political science mid-term
which has to be one of my favorite classes it has made me realize that im a capitalist who thinks like a "red" but please dont get me started on the political structure of a nation especially the one we live in today i can honestly say there is only one person that can truely challenge my ideas and she happens to be my woman<333

if you want to comment do it by answering this question-

what did KARL MARX mean when he stated that capitalism= dead labor

sympathy for the devil

2008-10-06T23:42:00.000-07:00

these past few days are have been full of memories that wont be forgotten world wide and one of those is the October second massacre 40 years ago i wont get into detail because most people who I've tried to talk to about it seem really narrow-minded about the subject history tends to repeat itself is something I've heard many times and in the back of my mind it stays just like many other memories. Ive always been the type of person who can store and process more than one thought at a time i am very accurate with most things i try to solve and yet i know nothing. maybe knowing is overrated well actually knowing isn't overrated knowing is the foundation of our minds knowing that you can think makes you certain you are alive but who are you? a soul or a spirit and a better question what is your "MIND" something no one has ever been able to find millions of doctors have opened peoples heads and they've found a brain a skull but never a mind is it all just another puppet show we have grown to believe is real can we find our way out of this circus we call life? maybe all the things we dream can never come true
but you see maybe I'm WRONG maybe what we dream is real because we have to have a basis in order to dream it
if i dream of a purple elephant with pink stars does that mean that in some basis what i am dreaming is real
there are stars and they're are colors and maybe my mind has just altered all of these images in my mind and have just molded them into one dream
so i cannot be certain of many things but i know that i do exist because i have thoughts and you cannot exist without thoughts
I've heard many vague questions in my lifetime
for example
"if a tree falls in the middle of the Forrest does it make a sound"
the answer to that question is NO
when a tree falls it makes a vibration but if there is no producer in other words "EAR" a vibration cannot become a sound therefore it cannot make a sound it can create a vibration that can become a sound but again only if there is an ear to listen

my ideas are not simple images that can be easily corrupted
they are formed arguments that have meaning to whom i am not sure yet but i know that i exist because i am capable of having thought
I'm not just a mindless puppet with strings but a human with thoughts

this blog was inspired by the only clever person i know
my clevergirl

=]

the odd subject of idealism

2008-10-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

So I was planning on writing this on the first of October but i missed it by a couple of minutes. Its not late but i am tired the heat in LA seems to be getting to me =[
well anyway i am glad its Thursday its just one day closer to November AKA thanksgiving. Ive always been a Halloween type of guy but as of last year i look forward to thanks giving almost as much as i do my birthday maybe even more its the time of year that i get out of LA and into the snow with the woman i love =]. and since its October it means 8 more months until STUFF happens Yess.

In a completely different subject today is the V.P. debate which should be good well actually im not expecting much from either party since ive already seen OBAMA own mCCCC-lame never-the-less i will be watching the debate tmrw as i finish my thesis on George BERKELEY and his theory on subjective idealism or Esse est percipi "to be is to be percieved"

well i guess overall can LA get some rain ?

HELP A NIGGGA OUT

ILLEGALLY ILLEGAL TENDER

2008-09-27T00:59:00.000-07:00

so a lot has happened in these last 2 weeks i got to spend time with the woman i love which is of course most important, the project we've been working on has really taken off ILLEGAL TENDER CLOTHING is something that should be coming out of your mouth if not it is now. We had our first editorial photo shoot and things couldn't get any better we did have some pretty great people model for us who's personalities really were the difference makers in the shoot. Also we had JFG photography who is just incredible. Well now back to the TASK at hand which in my eye for the past 3 months has been the idea of CHANGE. Obama's owned MC-old in the debate tonight and that is something as an -Obama for change- supporter as well as organizer for the Los Angeles area i am truely proud of all the work me as well as others have put into the campain i truely feel liek ive made a difference. To end this is the best way i think i know how the only thing that has me excited is thanksgiving because i get to have a great cosey dinner with the woman i love 67 more days =]

the YOUTH with no power-the subrejime-of life

2008-09-17T23:53:00.000-07:00

frustrated by the oppression and rigid control of the Party, which prohibits free thought, sex, and any expression of individuality. we have gone to a new low when it comes to conforming. What we have hyped as original starts to fade away when a group of people discover the idea of ORIGINAL and take what few have created STYLE. The word that has re-emerged the youth with old IDEA'S and all that we have already seen. We believe that a colorful pair of shoes and a ridiculous hat can help your individuality but its not the clothes that makes the person but the style and ideas you brings to the table. You see this makes you and I different is that i don't need to dress a certain way for people to know my intellect in the world of fashion, music, and business. All of which are used by the government to control us and make us conform you see if you by an object of clothing the "WHITE MAN" makes money if you but anything the white man makes money i only think few are truely capable of understanding what i write i am HALF African American and i do not need to shave my head to know where i am from. I do want a certain group of people to read this blog they know that i am not afraid to speak my mind and my thoughts dont come from "RAPPERS" or other "MUSICIANS" that your ideas or should i say your stolen thoughts come from
MY IDEAS come from questions asked by few men and women able to stand up to the way of life they believe should be fair i am not appressed i am not a race hatter i am simply a person who wants to ask simple questions from which maybe you will learn and form your own questions or opinions but please dont qoute the man who was told what to say but the man who was not affraid to ask you to think
and as for the world and the culture we live in today id rather help you by asking you a questions than destroy you by letting you stay ignorant.

i AM a GIANT AMOUNG MEN

why do you ask a simple question when you dont understand what you learn

2008-09-08T20:47:00.000-07:00

the world
has always been open to change
the people that inhabit this great not so GREEN earth are the ones who would rather
DIE than lose what material items they posses
i just want to know why it is that we cannot ask a simple question without a huge crowd gathering in opposition of your ideas
I've recently been discussing many great ideas common men who arent so common have thought of
why is it that we have to ask questions?

its one of the first things we are taught in our youth
you ask a question
and a person gives you the answer
if you think about it most important events come from questions
why is the sky blue?
is the world flat?
why do we have to listen to your government?
all simple questions that have had a great deal of death on there hands per say

but all i want to know is
why our youth tries to show off there knowledge by giving the appearance that they are so much greater in intellect and experience when they are only 15 years old?
dont get me wrong ive taken my fair share of AP classes
but taking the classes doesnt give you the right to look down on people if so id be on the top of the top if you understand what im trying to say
the lectures and the books can only take you so far its the ideas that you make for yourself

the most beautiful girl in all of the world once made that very clear for me
you learn for the sake of learning nothing more nothing less
and i still believe this to be true<3

election within reach and i think i believe in change

2008-09-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

i dont understand how someone can honestly think OBAMA isnt suited to become the next president of the united states of DEBT

SURE he isnt the best suited for the job and sure he doesnt have the EXPERIENCE i mean the last democratic president of the united states had 20 years of experience as a governer but OBAMA has carisma and he has the right people to help him
if you believe that he is in any way like G.W.BUSH your most likely right i mean he has no experience and what happens when you dont know how to do your job? you ask someone to help you
for the last 8 years we've had the wrong people helping the president and this year we have people that helped bring the best 8 years for lower and middle class families throughout the united states
and frankly
i dont understand how we can have SARA PALIN as a VP nominated individual i dont know about the rest of the people who watch the conventions but she said nothing about how she's going to help the united states all she talked about was her pregnant daughter i will give her one thing though she should thank who ever wrote her speech since it made a great impact on many

and as for my opinion you can agree with it or disagree i honestly would love to know your opinions but make them intelligent ones because if all your gonna say is "sara palin is great" then ill just reply with "so is vritney spears "
i did enjoy however the fact that they took that woman out of the crowd in tonights speech so much for FREEDOM of speech and if they even try to cover it with disturbing the peace it will be bull shit since everyone there was yelling there lungs out im surprised john mccain doesnt use a hearing aid
well whatever the case all i want to say is THIS REMINDS me of another great leader
who also imposed change

the generation of the gods

2008-09-03T00:15:00.000-07:00

LA... a place I've called home for the past 17 years of my life'

somehow blinded by all the pollution
I've had one clear thought
though you may have already heard the word politician is just another way of saying liar
but not only are politicians liars but also great story tellers
most of the people we look to lead us are liars but with these lies comes a great truth

As children we are told to follow our dreams
as adults we are told to make choices
As Americans we are told to follow the AMERICAN dream
the simple facts that most of our choices have been made before maybe not by anyone we know
but maybe by characters we read about or watch on the television set

the only thing we do is BELIEVE
believe that the world is full of characters from novels that somehow manipulate our minds and just hypnotize us with the idea that somehow we can maybe become a character

ALL we do is try to identify ourselves with a sort of character be it from a book a TV show or "LIFE"

ALL we know as human beings is what we learn

THE story of ADAM & EVE and the apply tree is a fable. it is fiction. there was no Adam or EVE. There was no tree of knowledge, but like i said before the story has some truth
how you might think
well in my analysis
the simple story is more than just about two people and their relationship with the "CREATOR"
it is a story about people who grow up. It is about people who gain experience and knowledge. It is about people who exercise their FREEWILL by DISOBEYING AUTHORITY. It is about all these things and much more, somehow even if we try to be original we are all CHARACTERS maybe being human Isn't as great as we believe it to be maybe the world has cultivated is with the seed known as SELF IMAGE the only thing that human beings are more afraid of than being hurt is being looked at.

THE STRUTTER

2008-08-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

I know a thing or two about her
I know she can make you cry
You will walk the streets beside her
Before you blink she will pass by
When you wear her people say your 'lookin' good
She will own you like she knew she could
She will change you and its not always good

shes FASHION
I know she steals away the show
When your with her you almost feel a glow
when you think people are on your side
She changes you and thats no lie
she will make you feel good for a day
but with it you will have to pay

shes FASHION
now there are many that try to walk beside her
and there are many she has made cry
she will tease you and shes really good
she will own you like she knew she could
you'll go crazy like a child
and she knows that she can make you wild
shes FASHION

Now just so you know the truth about her
she can only belong to few
so don't think to highly of yourself when your around her
shell drop you in a minute just because she can
unlike you shes always on demand shes fashion
and shes made the world turn but the world dont turn right