paragraph 4

Sometimes I thank god for 1995.
It was my first year of "big boy school" but it was also the year my sister was born. My sisters name isn't important its the actions that came with her birth that changed my life. My mother was happy through-out her pregnancy she would take me on walks with her as she didn't want me to feel as though the love she had for me would leave when my sister was born. She told me how I would be a big brother and as a brother I would have to help with more things around the house. Even my father became more caring it was an awkward yet kind of soothing feeling getting love from both of my parents. A couple of weeks before my sister was born my mom decided that I should get one last gift as an only child before she bought me the gift she said that somethings would change and in the long run everything would be okay I didn't know why she said that at first my mind could barely wrap the thought of me getting a bicycle. It was the cool thing to have at the time well at least for me. My mom made my dad promise me he would learn how to ride my new bicycle the first day my dad was showing me how to ride a bicycle my mother went into labor my dad left me in my grandmothers house while he went to the hospital with my mom. The days went by until I finally got to see my sister she was a beautiful baby just like the ones you see in commercials. When I walked to my moms hospital bed she didn't look at me I asked her how she was doing and she wouldn't respond I felt as if my mom was mad at me. I asked my dad but he didn't really say much all he muttered was"she's gonna be okay". He couldn't even look at her when he said it. He gave her this glare of hate I remember the look becuase its the same look he gave me everytime he was upset with me. The weeks went by and I was still at my grandmothers house I asked my dad when I could go back home and he said "not for a while" I asked him how my baby sister was and how my mom was, he just said "there fine quit asking so many questions" so I asked him when we could to the park so he could teach me how to ride a bicycle.... he simply said to me "never" I began to cry and my grandmother asked him to leave. I didn't know what was going on I didn't know why my parents were acting so weird I didn't know why my grandmother watched so many hours of television I didn't know anything in life and I simply began to cry I didn't stop for a couple of hours. Finally my grandmother came into my room and said to me that my mother and father loved me she said to me how I wasn't going to see my family for a little while she said that as long as you know that they love you everything will be okay. I didn't though I should have told my grandma then and there that I didn't know that my parents loved me I didn't know what to do all I knew as that I wanted to learn how to ride a bicycle and I didn't see why that wasn't going to happen. Suddenly I felt the arms of my grandmother holding me close she said to me that love was something that never went away she said people go through many things in life and one of them was love I asked her what she meant and she told me "when your older you will find a girl who you will love and you will marry her" I said " how will I know she's the one?"
She said to me "you only have one heart you can only give your heart to one person in your life time you can't ask for it back all you can do is hope that the person takes care of it" I said "how will I know who the person is" and she said "that everyone has a partner in life, a soulmate, when god made you he also made a special girl so you could share everything with." She said that I would know when I found her because my heart would tell me and whenever things got hard I would ask my heart and it would guide me threw life.
All I could think about at the time was that she said I have to share everything with this person.
I said " even my bicycle " she said "yes" I thought about it for a while how was I suppose to share my bicycle when I didn't know how to ride it. I felt as if maybe me not knowing how to ride it would stop me from ever finding that special person. To this day I don't know how to ride a bicycle I found the person my grandmother talked to me about when I was a little boy and it happened just as she said I've given my heart my corazon to someone already I can't ask for it back because it doesn't belong to me anymore I wish my grandmother wouldve told me how much it hurts when you fall inlove but I do remember she said that when your heart tells you its the right person you should never doubt it just trust your heart and everything will be okay and that's what life comes down too in the end of the day the sunsets the clouds vanishes the sky gets dark but your world remains the same you still have love, love is never lost but the world tends to try to make things hard for love but don't give up on love don't be afraid to give your heart away and overall don't ask for it back because you only have one heart
And once upon a life time love exists and that love won't ever end trust the one person you gave your heart too because that person trusted you with there heart and you know that your taking care of it everyday simply thank god because even though right no at this very moment you feel the love is gone it isn't so smile because your heart is okay in this chest of mine and once you decide to come home so will you.....

paragraph 3/ como te extrano

You know most of my childhood I felt as if my parents didn't love me it seemed almost as if they hated me. My father hasn't been the most loving man hell the only time I ever spend with him as a child was when we would fight. As a child I had an atitude problem because of this most people would say I was the annoying little kid that was cute but such a trouble maker that I wouldn't get invited to birthday parties. My mother cared for me but there was always a distance between us the more I would try to be happy I just couldn't. The year was 1995 I remember it being a hard year for me I started elementry school and I felt like I was finally getting the attention from my parents I wanted. They would ask me how my day was hell one time my dad actually dropped me off at school that made me feel special and kinda made my day. When I first started school my teachers name was mr. Taber he was an older man in his late 50s with a balding scalp and a lathargic look to him he would always call me "abear" instead of "HEBERT" I never got it but then again I never really get anything. For as I sit here in the residence hotel and I think about how I just lost the love I hold dearest to my heart I can't help but start writing about how that love came to be and how much it hurts me although it seems everyone knew except for me many people tell me to stay strong but I can't help but feel like that weak little kid who had dreams of growing up to become someone famous a singer a roller a rocker but I stroll the streets of hollywood alone again alone for shame is how the streets tell many stories and now one of my own I can't help but be angry at this place called hollywood I can't help but be angry at the memories I have of that place for that place can only bring me memories of the past and the person I love so dearly but what am I suppose to do when you give someone your heart you don't ask for it back you stand tall and you think about the great memories you've had with the person for thou today they made you sad you have to remember the great times you've had together how much you learned from each other and how much you've impacted there lifes the little things that just stick to people are the real memories you have. I've always been a person who has great memory which is maybe why it hurts me the most I keep replaying the moment in my head where you can pinpoint your heart breaking in two you have to stay strong for both you and the other person because the person can be going through things that you just might not ever understand and the person might be going through things that they might not want you to know about because trust must be the key to any good time and I guess through it all I trust her I trust her so much that I trust that her breaking my heart is a good thing if it helps her figure out a part of life than she can break my heart a thousand times for it isn't my heart anymore it hasn't been my heart since the first time I saw her and it won't ever be my heart again for you can only mend your heart once in a life time and when you do its for ever and though people now-a-days don't respect each other I have so much respect for you because I am a real man and a real man has to learn not to ever talk about the woman he is inlove with no matter how much it hurts him on the inside but for that I can thank her because I now know that I've experienced love the most beautiful thing in the world who knows maybe I won't ever have love again but I had it once upon a time and I think its fair to thank her for the memories the love and the rock and roll. I am inlove with a girl I've fallen inlove and most completely she's inlove with the world sometimes she goes away she's really missleading she says to me are you alright how can I be alright if my heart still bleeding she don't know but then again she always knew that no matter what she does my heart is for her completely now.
Before I end the post I want people to know that if they have someone to love consider yourselfs lucky because love REAL love only comes around once and its okay to dream of being together forever because if you do it might come true
I still dream of it coming true one day with the same girl who has my heart because even though the world has had its evil way I want her to know that the world can't take on us together and that I got this
I got this....

the second paragraph

In 1994 i began to see the world in color. I remember always having a positive outlook on things maybe because i didn't understand most things going on in my surroundings.
I wont ever claim to be one of the kids who was a know it all at a very young age, in fact i knew only few things at the time my world consisted of going to school, listening to music with my mom, and pretending to be a power ranger.
i have always felt that music was a huge part of my up bringing my mother was a drummer in her high school marching band and would always walk with great rhythm in her step she was also a great dancer.
My father was and continues to be a quite individual I never fully understood why my mother was with a man who always seemed so cold.
He did however have moments that almost made him seem human.
i remember a day when me and my mother went out to get some things from the grocery store, we were coming back home from the grocery store and as we walked in the door i heard music coming from my parents room i ran as fast as i could to the room and when i walked in i saw my father on top of a couch jamming out with some heavy air guitar type movements i couldn't help but laugh and him for he reminded me of the very person he would make fun off every morning BARNEY the purple television dinosaur.
Before i even had a chance to ask him what he was doing my mom shouted"what the hell are you doing" he has always feared my moms tone of voice when it became loud he gave her a strange look and simply said 'listening to SCORPIONS " my mom just laughed at him as she walked away and muttered "SCORPIONS why not Judas Priest" my dad had always claimed to hate Scorpions but it was the LOVE DRIVE album and if you've heard the album you'd understand why he loved it so. Before that day i never really saw my dad as a person that was any fun at all but come to think about it when i walked in that room i didn't see my dad i saw a kid trapped in a commitment that i cant help but feel responsible for.

the first paragraph

i know I'm not the same person i tried to be when i first wanted to write a novel
i remember wanting to start off my novel with a description of a so-called character
i wanted to go the whole nine yards with the description
beginning with the facial features that made the character interesting
the whole "he had dark hair and a slight limp to his walk only a man with a history for violence would have" but after a while i decided that if i wrote about a character with flaws many would relate to him or her for the wrong reason
i guess you have to first choose the right reason to write a story before you begin to take notes.

i guess like many i would be writing about my life and how
it consists of some struggles and some great moments but its all the same the way we live in the world
seems to leave less and less room for originality
I'm currently having a flash back to what i think is my first memory
i cant be certain of it being my first memory because its on video tape so maybe its only the first memory i have footage or prove of ever being real. don't worry i wont try to get philosophical in my story even if it might seem that way sometimes i simply cant stand people that read a certain piece of work by a man who is claimed to be insane by the few that don't understand him and will dictate this in a conversation to try to create stature among simple humans who are amazed by assholes who steal personality from those who try teach that following will never lead you anywhere. In any case we are all victims of thinking and now to re frame back to my previous topic, I was 3 years old in the early 90's with my shoulder length hair i had no idea what right or wrong were at that time and to this day sometimes i feel i still haven't learned it was my birthday party and like every child i cried when held by unfamiliar faces my first memory is of me riding a swing with two little girls with floral dresses in the middle of a hall my father a man in his early twenty's at the time was about to pull me away when i struck him with a broom i picked up somewhere in the 2 minutes the camera wasn't on me. that is my first memory September 21st 1993 who am i? HEBERT

Ce Jeu

hebert and rachel<3
hipster paradise