You know most of my childhood I felt as if my parents didn't love me it seemed almost as if they hated me. My father hasn't been the most loving man hell the only time I ever spend with him as a child was when we would fight. As a child I had an atitude problem because of this most people would say I was the annoying little kid that was cute but such a trouble maker that I wouldn't get invited to birthday parties. My mother cared for me but there was always a distance between us the more I would try to be happy I just couldn't. The year was 1995 I remember it being a hard year for me I started elementry school and I felt like I was finally getting the attention from my parents I wanted. They would ask me how my day was hell one time my dad actually dropped me off at school that made me feel special and kinda made my day. When I first started school my teachers name was mr. Taber he was an older man in his late 50s with a balding scalp and a lathargic look to him he would always call me "abear" instead of "HEBERT" I never got it but then again I never really get anything. For as I sit here in the residence hotel and I think about how I just lost the love I hold dearest to my heart I can't help but start writing about how that love came to be and how much it hurts me although it seems everyone knew except for me many people tell me to stay strong but I can't help but feel like that weak little kid who had dreams of growing up to become someone famous a singer a roller a rocker but I stroll the streets of hollywood alone again alone for shame is how the streets tell many stories and now one of my own I can't help but be angry at this place called hollywood I can't help but be angry at the memories I have of that place for that place can only bring me memories of the past and the person I love so dearly but what am I suppose to do when you give someone your heart you don't ask for it back you stand tall and you think about the great memories you've had with the person for thou today they made you sad you have to remember the great times you've had together how much you learned from each other and how much you've impacted there lifes the little things that just stick to people are the real memories you have. I've always been a person who has great memory which is maybe why it hurts me the most I keep replaying the moment in my head where you can pinpoint your heart breaking in two you have to stay strong for both you and the other person because the person can be going through things that you just might not ever understand and the person might be going through things that they might not want you to know about because trust must be the key to any good time and I guess through it all I trust her I trust her so much that I trust that her breaking my heart is a good thing if it helps her figure out a part of life than she can break my heart a thousand times for it isn't my heart anymore it hasn't been my heart since the first time I saw her and it won't ever be my heart again for you can only mend your heart once in a life time and when you do its for ever and though people now-a-days don't respect each other I have so much respect for you because I am a real man and a real man has to learn not to ever talk about the woman he is inlove with no matter how much it hurts him on the inside but for that I can thank her because I now know that I've experienced love the most beautiful thing in the world who knows maybe I won't ever have love again but I had it once upon a time and I think its fair to thank her for the memories the love and the rock and roll. I am inlove with a girl I've fallen inlove and most completely she's inlove with the world sometimes she goes away she's really missleading she says to me are you alright how can I be alright if my heart still bleeding she don't know but then again she always knew that no matter what she does my heart is for her completely now.
Before I end the post I want people to know that if they have someone to love consider yourselfs lucky because love REAL love only comes around once and its okay to dream of being together forever because if you do it might come true
I still dream of it coming true one day with the same girl who has my heart because even though the world has had its evil way I want her to know that the world can't take on us together and that I got this
I got this....
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